Focus on Heart Change Versus Superficial Bandaids - Neuro Tip

Rules and guidelines are extremely important for parents/guardians to lay out for their teenagers. However, if this is the deepest we go there is an uncomfortably high chance that once the teenager is out of our house and rules they will make choices that are out of line with the way we thought we raised our child. 

Automations of the brain win every time over outward rules and regulations.

Helping your teenager understand the reason behind the rules and guidelines you have is a great start to helping them get their heart and mind behind the rules and guidelines you set. Some kids that is all it takes and some need more.

For some teenagers it can be very helpful to have an open dialogue about rules and guidelines they don't like and why. Being curious about tension to guidelines is a great place to start. The key here is curious, open dialogue, and a safe unjudgemental space. Of course as the parent/guardian there is a way you hope you teenager decides is right, but if at any point in time they feel you are pushing your agenda over seeking to hear and understand them, they likely may be encouraged to stop sharing with you or default to answers they know you want to here to save the conflict. Teens are smart. They know when they are being spoken at and when they are being spoken with.

I love hearing the heart behind teenagers actions and struggles in Neuro Coaching sessions. So many of them have a great reason underneath what they are doing on the surface.