Support and Genuine Love that Isn't Tied to Results - Neuro Tip

I'm sure if I ask you if you love your child you will say "Yes". I'm sure if I ask you if you love them even when they mess up or fail you will say "Yes". The fact that you are taking time to read this blog means you value your child and take your job as a parent/guardian seriously. Today I want to talk about something that is a little close to home and has so many layers that are impacted by our own childhood, experiences in life, and how our subconscious is wired.

Sometimes well meaning and loving parents fall into traps that lead their children to believe their worth and ability to be loved is attached to results or performance. These are often tiny and subtle ways. Our brains are so sneaky. The subconscious comes out in things like a comment, or what our attention is drawn to, or how we celebrate. The subconscious comes out in such sneaky ways that we are unaware of it. 

If a parent/guardian has any ties to finding their worth or ability to be loved in results, performance, or acting a certain way this will often come out in how they talk to and interact with their kids. This is why our growth journey as a parent/guardian is so important. It is an example for our children to follow AND it influences the person we show up as every day in their life.

What can be done when a parent/guardian realizes they have tied some part of their own worth or ability to be loved to results, performance, or acting a certain way?

1. Realization of this is the first step.
2. Becoming aware of any way this sneaky and subconscious belief is coming out in words and actions.
3. Rewire the brain to automate a new belief that aligns with what you truly believe about your worth and view of self
4. Live out of the new subconscious.

The subconscious wins ever time. You can put a bandaid over a belief that does not align with the person you are now, but eventually in tiny words, actions, or even intonations the subconscious will leak out.